It is the transition time of year. End-of-school-term graduations, weddings, and new babies arriving all indicate major changes in a person’s life. Recently, I was working on a memory presentation for our graduate and it made me both teary and thoughtful. When she was a very small baby, her daddy used to sing or play his guitar for her. One of their favorites was the song by Coldplay:
’Cause you’re a sky, ’cause you’re a sky full of stars
I’m gonna give you my heart
’Cause you’re a sky, ’cause you’re a sky full of stars
’Cause you light up the path
I don’t care, go on and tear me apart
I don’t care if you do, ooh-ooh, ooh
’Cause in a sky, ’cause in a sky full of stars
I think I saw you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
’Cause you’re a sky, ’cause you’re a sky full of stars
I wanna die in your arms, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh
’Cause you get lighter the more it gets dark
I’m gonna give you my heart, oh
I don’t care, go on and tear me apart
I don’t care if you do, ooh-ooh, ooh
’Cause in a sky, ’cause in a sky full of stars
I think I see you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
Despite the casual language and light “ooh-ooh-ooh’s,” there is a minor key tone and a less cheerful reality to the theme. I guess, now in my grandma era, I spend more time looking back than I do forward – it spoke significantly to me about the role of a parent.
When your child arrives into your life and home, you give them your heart. Your eyes are full of stars for all the hopes and dreams you carry for your little one.
But the next verse is the reality. They will tear you apart! You lose the innocent self-centeredness of your life as you struggle to learn an entirely new way of being a person—a person whose life, happiness, future plans, and priorities have suddenly and irreversibly changed. You aren’t just torn apart – you are rebuilt from the ground up!
You are so proud of this new little stranger, and so humbled by your own inabilities.
You would bravely, even fiercely, defend your child while being instantly overwhelmed by fears and anxiety for their safety and well-being.
You are determined never to make the mistakes that your foolish parents made, and hopefully you won’t, but it would be miraculous if you NEVER heard your parents’ voice coming out of your mouth.
You will struggle, as all parents have done, with how to enable them to fulfill their potential while not inflicting your own unfulfilled dreams upon them.
You will be amazed that someone you love so deeply could infuriate and cut you to your core. Sooner or later, it will happen, even if it’s not until the day they say goodbye and walk out the door. Somehow, even if they visit, it’s never the same again.
In the darkness that is our world, will you be able to let them shine brightly? Or will you seriously try to hide their light or quiet their voice to keep them, and maybe you- safe?
And finally, someday, if you have somehow managed to navigate all the pitfalls of parenting and have children who love you, you will probably die in their arms. Usually, one or the other parent is left alone, and then the child will have to say goodbye to you.
When they release you into the arms of the Father above at that moment, you will fully realize the infinite Love of the Parent who has been just as torn apart by loving you.