For the past three days, I have been attending a conference on Christian Counseling and Spiritual Direction. One of the speakers Rev. Dr. Siang-Yang Tan, made a comment that immediately reminded me of a comment another great thinker and former roommate of mine, Gwen Sweeny, had said recently in response to my last post Loves you the Most.
Dr. Tan was commenting that it is often important to help people find meaning in their suffering. Recent studies have shown that those who rebound more quickly and even experience personal growth through suffering are those who could determine some purpose within the experience. That does not mean that God will answer all our “why” questions. Dr. Tan said the final answer to all Job’s questions was not an explanation. It was a creation-wide demonstration that Job’s mind was too small, too finite to be able to comprehend the answers even if were God to provide them. “Where were you?” when the I AM simply spoke and every molecule of the entire universe came into being! Dr. Tan compared it to the tried and true parental response to the “why”. Because I said so!
I immediately thought of Gwen’s comments,
“Because of my kids I understand my Father better. Why He allows and does the things He does. Because of my kids, I have become a better child to the Father. In that alone my kids have given me more then I could ever claim to have given to them. They have answered so many of the “why” questions of my youth. As a mom, I understand better the answer to the “why”. “Because I said so” does not sound empty and uncaring, but more- I do not have the capacity to understand and just need to trust in the love of a caring Father.”
Amen Gwen!
If only in the midst of our struggles, we could relax from our fevered thrashing in the Father’s arms (Like trying to hold a tired, fussy two-year old!) and just let Him hold us and carry us. Isaiah 30:15“For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength”. But you were unwilling.” What can we learn from those moments when we have to slow down; we have to be still, or our hearts are broken open from having experienced loss or betrayal?
- We are not really in control of our lives, or our future. Heb. 2:8 “Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control.”
- We are not indispensible, irreplaceable; the world will keep spinning even if we are not running our little hearts out on the rat wheel of life. Ps. 103 15 As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; 16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more.
- Faith is believing in the love of God as a constant in our lives especially when we do not see or feel him. 1 Peter 1:8-9, 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
- Hearts that are hard, brittle with bitterness break more easily. Hearts surrounded by a rigid shell cannot give or receive love until the shell is broken through. Ezekiel 36:26 And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
- The fellowship of His suffering is the place of experiencing the deepest most intimate moments of the love of God.
- What is most important in this world is not what we can gain, accomplish; it really is all about who you know…
Philippians 3:10 (Amplified) For my determined purpose is that I may know Him that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly, and that I may in that same way come to know the power out-flowing from His resurrection, and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed in spirit into His likeness even to His death.
Yes Father, because you said so…Thanks Gwen and Dr. Tan!