What does it mean to take offense? Various online dictionaries define it as follows:
To feel (and usually to show) emotional pain and resentment at another’s actions or words.
Confession time, I recently took offense when someone’s behavior triggered some painful memories for me. How could he act that way? He seemed to be intentionally inflicting emotional pain, and I resented it deeply. I guess I am in good company; the disciples even took offense with Jesus when He began to teach them things they did not want to hear. John 6:60-61
60 When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” 61 But Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples were grumbling about this, said to them, “Do you take offense at this?
So what would have been the better response on my part in dealing with the offense? How could I keep my heart clean of the dark film that resentment would bring? Surely, bitterness must be the next step beyond resentment.
Solomon seems to say that we have a choice; we can use love to cover the offense, overlook it, not share it with others, and above all keep calm. (He was a wise man…)
Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.
Proverbs 17:9 Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.
Proverbs 19:11 Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Ecclesiastes 10:4 If the anger of the ruler rises against you, do not leave your place, for calmness will lay great offenses to rest.
Basically, offenses will come to us. We will be offended by the words and actions of other. Offenses will come, but we do not have to “take” them into ourselves. The hurtful comments do not have to find a place in our identity. I can choose to let love cover the offense by believing the person was only acting out of the hurt he was feeling. (See Hurting People)
I can choose not to “take” the offense to others thereby spreading the resentment. Again, a choice characterized as seeking love.
The offense can be overlooked if I choose not to “take” it into my view of the person so that all my future encounters with this person are colored by this event.
Mainly, I need to keep calm, give the hurt to the Healer, and find a place of rest in my spirit through forgiveness.